Some tidbits from (www.inpassing.org)...

"Angora does say 'I love you, honey,' more than cotton."
--One teenage girl to another, shopping at American Eagle

...I LOVE Angora in my socks!!! :o)

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"Sign it 'You'd better let me know what's going on. See ya.' If you say 'Love ya ' to him, you and me are going to go for a round next time we find a boxing ring."
--A woman in a net cafe to another woman who was typing.

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"Lo! Who is that, skulking out of the fields! It is Brian28306, hands clutching a burning branch! He bellows mightily:

"I'm going to bludgeon you so hard, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!!"

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"What're the bells for?"
"They're so we can communicate without using the intercom. We've kind of got this whole nautical theme going on."
"Yeah, except for the Hawaiian shirts."
"That's true. We should have striped shirts, be like sailors."
"Or pirates. Right now you could be tropical pirates maybe. Cruise ship robbing pirates."
"Are you calling us lazy? That's brilliant."
--A customer and a checker at Trader Joe's

***
"Wait a sec, these are heavy."
"Come on, we're going to be late."
"The girls are going to be late, so we can be late. Besides, they owe us a rib from way back."

***
"We're not allowed to actually say that. But I can say something like, 'The fruit nut bar? Well, do you like health food? Do you like the taste of health food? Do you like the newspaper?' And let them guess from there."
--A guy working at Starbucks.

***
"How do I get to handbags?"
"Oh, they're on the lower level, you can go downstairs right over there."
"I'm afraid of down escalators! You need to respect the fact that some people are afraid of down escalators!"
"I'm so sorry Ma'am... I didn't consider that because you took the up escalator to arrive here just now. Er... the elevators are around the corner if you'd prefer that."
"Don't you know that down escalators is how you get to *looks side to side, then whispers* Hell?"
--An elderly woman and a clerk at Macy's