Since it's report card weekend, I was searching for some new comments to add to my arsenal, and I stumbled upon some comments from some of NYC's finest teachers. Comments that I appreciated in particular are bolded. Enjoy!

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your child is depriving a village of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a full "six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your son's IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't here.
10. If your son were any dumber, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is gone.